Relationships are not easy work. In fact, I believe that relational conflicts can be some of the most difficult circumstances we face in life. They can be a particular challenge when you are forced into one you would not choose yourself—like in the workplace. It is one thing to choose your own friends, but when you walk into that new cubicle on the first day of a new job, and meet the person with whom you will spend 40 hours a week, you may find that is the determining factor of how much you enjoy the new work environment.
We’ve all been there. You are walking down the hallway at work or at church and get a glimpse of a certain person coming your way, so you quickly start walking the other way. Or, maybe you are about to enter a common workspace . . . until you notice who else is in there. As Christians, we are called to be patient with our co-workers at our workplace and at church. Still, this can be a difficult task!
However, living in peace and harmony is commanded. For the sake of Christian unity, we must understand the importance of avoiding conflict and corrosion in relationships. In the paragraphs to follow, I hope to explain how the truth of Colossians 3:12—15 (ESV)1 provides us with a mandate for maintaining healthy relational patterns. Since relationships in the Christian workplace can be especially difficult, that is where the focus of this article will lie.
Colossians 3:12—15 provides several clear directives on the issue of Christian unity that I believe leave no room for awkwardness in the hallways of our churches and cubicles.
*It takes a conscious effort to live in unity with one another.
The first two words of Colossians 3:12 command us to "put on." In the morning, I put on my shoes. This would not happen by itself—if I forget to put on my shoes, they do not magically wander over to my feet. It is no coincidence that Paul tells us to put on compassion, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience. These are things that do not happen without effort and grace.
Imagine that difficult co-worker in your mind. If you anticipate difficulty from him or her as you walk daily through the doors to your office, you are likely to receive difficulty. After all, that is what you expect out of this person, so that is probably what you will find.
Imagine the difference, though, if before getting out of your car, you pray that God will help you respond to this person in kindness and humility. Take it one step further and perhaps you would even seek an opportunity to extend undeserved kindness to this individual—this is the act of "putting on." It is both commanded and achievable.
*We must forgive those who wrong us.
Women are especially skilled at the art of seething in disappointment. That disappointment turns to bitterness, and a bitter heart is not prone to forgive. Notice that verse 13 does not allow unforgiveness to rule in the heart: "as the Lord has forgiven you, so you must also forgive." You must forgive.
A good exercise on this matter is to think often of the gospel. When we think of our offenses against Christ and the gravity of our sin, we have no choice but to extend forgiveness out of the abundance we have received.
*Finally, the passage ends with the command to be thankful.
It is a good discipline to thank God for those difficult people in your life. By doing so, you will likely find your heart softened toward that difficult person. It is hard to give genuine thanks with one breath and complain with the next. So be thankful, because that difficult person sitting next to you might just prove to be the greatest tool of sanctification in your life at the moment.
1Scripture quotations marked (ESV) are from The Holy Bible, English Standard Version, copyright © 2001 by Crossway Bibles, a division of Good News Publishers. Used by permission. All rights reserved.
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Liz Lockwood, MDiv, ThM, resides in Louisville, Kentucky.
