I recently started reading a book called MWF Seeks BFF, the non-fiction story of a newly married writer, Rachel Bertsche, in Chicago on a yearlong search to make friends. I’ve been in a friend funk for the last few months, feeling like I haven’t been doing my part in a number of my relationships, when I decided to make this my next read.
Not even two weeks after I started reading this book, an article in Chicago’s daily news reader published an article on loneliness. To toss a cherry on top, we talked about the same idea in small group two days ago. The conversations connecting friendship, loneliness, community, and social media have been so intriguing that I wonder if anyone else catches the drift. Even in a city of three million people, it’s easy to be lonely.
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Courtney, Susan, Me, and Emily (Photo credit: Courtney Thompson) |
In hindsight, I see that throughout my educational phases, I’ve collected small cadres of friends that I still connect with, but as life, marriages, babies, job changes, and family moves happen, those ties become more loosely tethered or even clipped amid transitions.
If you’ve been at your job longer than a year, you may have found a group of friends to fall into, but most who don’t stay at jobs for very long often don’t leave their jobs with long-lasting friendships. As young, working professionals, it can be hard to connect with others on a deeper level.
Finding time to invest deeply with others can be a tough with work time, family and rest time, and other commitments. As women, most of us naturally need more quality, interactive friendships than men do. Sitting on the ol’ Facebook seems like a good idea in the moment just to catch up on friends and family, but it lacks the face-to-face time that we all need—and can even make us feel more lonely. Additionally, many of the “friends” we keep on Facebook are not individuals we would choose to make deep connections with anyway.
Jesus was always surrounded by people and yet found it necessary to purposefully surround Himself with 12, and then three even closer. This is the kind of fellowship we need: friends to walk with one another, carry each other’s loads, admonishing, laughing, learning, and worshipping together.
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Holly, Jennah, Julia, me, and Nok. (Photo credit: Holly Reid) |
So with all this said, here’s my challenge to you and me: in the next few months, while the scourge of winter still strikes, take a couple hours of your week and connect with someone face-to-face.
Invite the new girl at work/small group/your church pew out for coffee after work or church.
Take that acquaintance up on their offer when they said, “Let’s get dinner sometime!” (Yes, even call them if you must!)
Contact a close friend that you haven’t communicated with for a few weeks or months (or better yet, Skype or Face Time!).
Most importantly, even if communication is slow, pray for your friends—and with them if possible, even if it’s over the phone, an email, a note in the mail, or a quick text prayer. “As iron sharpens iron, so one person sharpens another” (Proverbs 27:17).